In order to fulfill my two hours of Hanging Out with the enigma known to many of you as THE Joe Moran (pronounced THEEEE) I have been graced with the opportunity to clue you in and give you the skinny poop on a True Treasure of the Modern Era. A Man ahead or His or any other Time. Wingman to God, Conquer of the Great Divide, Oldest Ever Recipient of the Bobcat and Webelo Badges, Most Eligible Bachelor and Logistical Engineer
You can find out more about him here:
But let me tell a little more about this Singular Titan of
the Incredible.
Goals (2013):
To allow the Champ (@MikeTyson) to become friends with
@THEJoeMoran via twitter
To grace the patrons of the House of Blues in Hollywood with a three song
set and show them the untapped potential of their
sound system.
To give producers the privilege of paying him exorbitant amounts of filthy lucre
to be the showrunner and star of the as yet untitled three time Emmy award
winning series: THE Joe Moran Project.
To quit smoking in 2004.
To host a book signing at Target
To name his first-born son (12), “Phantastk!”
To be overcome with exhaustion
due to the rigors of a demanding Tour Schedule or - to come up with a better
list of goals.
Accomplishments (to date):
Awarding winning obituary writer
Member of the 2005 White Sox
World Series Club Level’s Most Valued In-Seat Server and Captain of the
Beverage Olympics held annually at Sox
Park with Gold Medals in
the Perfect Pour and Bar-Backing and a Bronze in Urinal Cake Sanitation
Single-Handedly raised Morning
After Pill sales by 17.9% in the South-North region of the East-Western United
States in the last quarter of 2012
Quit smoking in 2004.
Undefeated in a Court of Law: 2-0
Questions for THE Joe Moran:
How many followers do you have on Tumblr?
If the producers of the Tonight Show called and offered you
Jay’s job, would you take it?
What is this?
Is it true you’re in talks to revive Kevin Costner’s character
in the remake of the Big Chill?
What do you excel at?
Yeah, well, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.
Endorsements:
Nabisco
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